Tuesday, January 8, 2013

A New Year

My mom died on Christmas Eve.   It's been an emotional roller coaster to say the least.
There is so much to process about it. It didn't feel real at first. It is starting to feel a little more real now.
I know that grief is a process and it will take as long as it takes. I always did the best I could to help mom, but sometimes I didn't give her my best self. I was impatient at times and resentful of her instability. She could be exhausting, and demanding and overly emotional. I loved her even when she was those things. She was my first home , my first safe haven.
 I know she is in heaven, and she is finally happy and at peace. Part of her lives on inside me and in my own children.
I miss you old woman and I always will.